I remembered back on few weeks ago I was hospitalized for three days and bed rest for so long. The first diagnose from the doctor was, I had a Migrain Vascular. I took medicine for 5 days and it doesn't seem better for me. Then, I'm back at the hospital. From internist to neurologist. I was being observed with blood test and CT scan. I can't move my body even I barely can't get up from my bed for a long time. I need to rest my head because that dizziness felt so hurting.
After sleeping on a hospital bed for 2 nights that every frigging hour I'm awake because hospital always felt creepy and there's a lot of dying soul, turns out my observation has a good result. Long story short, thank God I'm not having a scary disease that could made me die soon. The fact is, I'm just tired. There's too much pressure and I'm stress and I need to take a little rest and I shouldn't push my self beyond my limit.
Fyi, I've been hospitalized before, in my life for Thypus and DBD. I don't want to call it like this but you can say that I'm a bestfriend for hospital. I always got sick. I often got sick. I've had typhus, DBD, gastritis (radang lambung and asam lambung in a different times), low blood-pressure, and vertigo (these lists only for the diseases when I have to check to the hospital). I thought the only severe disease I've ever had was vertigo. But then this muscle-tense // stress-overload was the baddest of all time. Yes, the doctor said my dizziness came because I had muscle-tense.
After I finally went home, I still need to have a physiotherapy for 2-3 days ahead and have one appointment with my doctor to check up.
After I finally went home, I thought I was healed. I thought I was safe and sound. But then for the next 3 days ahead, my head hurts again. That physiotherapy and hospitalized and everything else was useless because I'm dying inside.
When the day I met my doctor for check up, he's confused because there's a lot of things he's done to me but my body was ignore it all. I finally got injection for my back muscle.
Being sick makes me realized that I was not sick at all. I'm just a little girl having a depression of life. I have too much pressure going on. My body was tired as hell. Then, I'm really scared to die when my doctor said I need to do a blood test and CT scan. Then, I was being hospitalized. And my boyfriend and some of my friends came along, I feel better at the moment. When they came back home, I'm back with all those thoughts and loud voices in my mind. The worst part was when I'm back home after being hospitalized: alone at home, sleeping all day long. I have no one to talk to. I'm depressed. Right now, I just need someone to listen to me and hug me tightly.